Imaginary girlfriend: Arizona Robbins – Doctor Love, she can cure my every pain

When Grey's Anatomy started, I checked it out. From time to time I did catch up on it and I knew the biggest storylines. Miranda Bailey was my favourite character and I did like Christina Yang, but no one really kept me watching it. When I heard rumours that Callie Torres was shopping around the corner, so to say, I got intrigued. Next stop, Seattle Grace Hospital! Unfortunately Erica Hahn didn't do much for me. Also, their fling was over in a heartbeat and Erica Hahn walked across the parking lot never to return. I thought that was it and all was well again in the straight kingdom. But hark! Suddenly rolling the hallways of the hospital was a new doctor. (And she really was rolling for she was wearing roller skate shoes: had I not been swooning prior to that that would have sealed the deal.) Her name was Arizona Robbins. She was super perky, super optimistic, super outgoing and cool, prancing around like a puppy dog, yet somewhat a womaniser and definitely my type. I was smitten.

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I can't handle your cute. 

And I wasn't alone. Everyone was falling head over heels for Arizona. And for Callie. Everything was Calzona and nothing hurt. Except that it did, and boy how much. Basically what I've learnt from medical series is that if you're a doctor and dying of an old age and you're having your mental stability and all your arms and legs at that point and all your friends haven't died in freak accidents, you my friend have accomplished a mission impossible. There have been fleeting and short happy times for Calzona and tons of angst and pain – after all, it's a drama series universe. And the Calzona corner of it must be the most dramatic one.

After the peds surgeon kissed the orthopedic surgeon in the bar bathroom, I have not missed a single episode. A friend stated that the last five series have been pretty awful but I can't really compare. Besides, even if there are other characters I care for, Arizona's been my babe. And once I have picked my team, I am loyal to it. I've always rooted for her and felt sad for she's been used often only as a tool to Callie's problems. Arizona is far from perfect and many weren't too thrilled with her during the series nine. Which I do get, but don't you dare to say nothing bad about my baby (don't you know / I love her so)! I really appreciated the dark side: it was always there, the twist, she didn't just change over night. She was never just sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

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Nor can I handle your hot.

Time (or well, Shonda Rhimes) is yet to tell what will happen to them. I personally am a shipper of questionable morals and as long as Arizona has a lady she's keen on, I am on board of that ship. But deep inside my sentimental heart, I do have sappy dreams of Arizona being back in Callie's arms and hearing her call her Calliope. Let's face it: it's something that would make my – and every other fangirls' - ovaries go boom. And hearts sing. And days brighter. After that perfect storm and some heavy rain it would be about time to let the sunshine in again.

Weekend Jam: Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon

When I was in my teens I was such a musical purist that I would only listen to the very original Fleetwood Mac, you know pre-1970's version of the band. Later on I have ditched my weird and delusional ideas of that no good music was made after the sixties, also regarding this band.

Like everyone and their mother, American Horror Story Coven  has totally made me drown myself into Fleetwood Mac's music as of late. My Tumbr tag research revealed that not everyone is crazy about this. Apparently becoming a fan of someone's music based on a TV show is not acceptable to Real Music Fans. I do not get it, people. How did they first hear it? Chances are their mothers blasted Fleetwood Mac during their entire pregnancy and they were born into it. But in most cases, probably not. Fandoms are supposed to be for bonding and loving, not for competing on who's the best fan. There's no such thing as wrong way of finding new music. And if a band's musical style chances it can be different but equally good. Like in this example right here.

So, to old and new fans, here's a pretty stellar live version on Rhiannon from 1976.

Ellen Page in Time to THRIVE Conference

I just wish to dedicate this post to Ellen Page because she's amazing.

This just really moved me to tears. It's so honest, raw and beautiful. You can really tell how nervous she is and how much it means to her and also, what kind of bravery it shows. And even though this doesn't directly connect with the concept of this blog I wanted to write about this because it matters so much to me. It also made me think about my own identity and at the moment I just feel really emotional and really grateful of all the love and affection I have in my life. I'm not taking anything of this for granted.

Weekend Jam: Valentine's songs for lovers, star-crossed lovers and those who are just cross

In my corner of the world Valentine's Day isn't some sappy romantic couples' fest and still it makes me more or less sick to my stomach. I am not overly cynical and/or a bitter single nor stone cold person who doesn't get romantic things: it's just not for me. But if it's for you, well you go girl! Here's a song for the happy ones that sums up all the love songs of the world. How very convenient!

 

I Love You song from the British sketch comedy show Smack the Pony.
I grew up watching this and I totally feel like this about all three of them.

Then if you're more on the cynical side, fear not: there's a nice tune for you, too! Written by an angry young man called Bob Dylan back in the day. Here it's sung by Joan Baez. Such a babe really. I once had a dream that I ran away from my own wedding with Joan Baez. Actually better than most choices. Like the one I was about to marry in the dream. Well nevertheless, about this video: unfortunately the quality is kind of crap but then again so is probably your mood so it goes together nicely. And the sound's just fine.

Joan Baez - Love Is Just A Four Letter Word

This makes me want to get a banjo and spend the rest of my days married to it.

And then there are those who've loved and lost. Or who are way too familiar with unrequited love and who end up breaking their own heart falling for wrong people and then having hard time getting over relationships that never even existed in the first place. These examples are obviously highly hypothetical and have nothing to do with my life. Your glass can be half full but there are times when you feel kind of iffy about it. And when you empty that glass, probably containing soothing alcohol, here's one my of go-to songs to accompany that.

Emmylou Harris - Making Believe.
Sigh. Why yes, I do love me some gorgeous brunettes with angelic voices.

Orla Brady: There's a woman in Ireland to whom my singing is sweeter than the music of strings

Who's totally hot, middle aged and apparently doesn't have a vast fan base on the world wide web for even finding photos of her is kind of hard (having hots for super famous people has its positive sides)? There are definitely quite a few but Orla Brady is one that fits the description. And that woman would really deserve an army of swooning fangirls.

Our paths must've crossed probably first time when I watched the film The Luzhin Defence but it was the BBC series Mistresses in 2008 that made me rush in like the fool I am. I don't know how many times I've seen the first series and just recently I took a trip down the memory lane and re-watched all three of them. I'm not even getting started on it for I could talk about it forever and then some. Like now when re-watching, I felt a need to recap it all to a friend to whom I had obsessed over it back in the 2008 and so. She could probably recite the main story lines never having seen even a minute of it. So likely this won't be last time I vent about Mistresses: believe me you, I am so going to dedicate a post to each main cast member sooner or later. But we're kicking it off with the glorious human specimen that goes under the name Orla Brady.

Even though I fell for the entire cast separately and together and cared for each character, it was pretty clear it wasn't Siobhan Dhillon but the woman who played her, i.e. Orla Brady who had me all hot and bothered. Although troubled characters are my weakness, too: Siobhan seemed cool and collected but she was all over the place. Her storyline was heartbreaking, frustrating and her self destruction and shitting where you're eating had some appeal to me. But I think it really was mostly that the actress physically reminded me a lot of the teacher I spent my last two high school years drooling after. Also, it was her voice. And her eyes. I've never quite gasped the idea of "bedroom eyes" but I think it's safe to say this woman has that game going on strong. Basically all she has to do is... exist and I find her to be pretty much the hottest thing ever.

Recently I've been spending time digging more into her work for not only did we have one surprise encounter in Hercule Poirot but also she made my Yuletide gay by appearing in the Doctor Who Christmas Special. I thought the most thrilling thing in the episode would be the regeneration and meeting Peter Capaldi as the Doctor but the entire episode pretty much left me asking Doctor... who? Thanks to Orla Brady who appeared as Tasha Lem – a rather sassy and seductive Mother Superious of a space church. I mean, just look at her:

 Definitely a church I would consider going to. Intergalactic nuns! And then there's the  one leading them.

While doing this recent research I learnt that her latest project is called The Price of Desire. Orla Brady will be portraying Eileen Gray: a furniture designer and architect who was a pioneer of the Modern Movement in architecture. So in other words the film is about an artist, played by Orla Brady, set in the 1920's and 30's. Which itself sounds very much like my cup of tea. But it gets better, folks: Eileen Gray was bisexual and judging from the images released for the film, her intermittent relationship with French singer and actress Damia isn't overlooked.

 Orla Brady as Eileen Gray and Alanis Morrisette as her lover Marisa Damia. I'm shipping it.

I have so many feels about this I can't even tell. To quote a certain song to express some of them: I'm so exited and I just can't hide it!

Weekend Jam: Lisa Germano - Cry Wolf

 This Weekend Jam is by ever so lovely Lisa Germano. I just simply love her presence, she's unique and mesmerizing and there's something haunting and fragile in her voice. I've been listening to her ever since I heard her album Lullaby For Liquid Pig for the first time. It was around six years ago.

It was hard to pick a song from her but I ended up choosing Cry Wolf. This song is so personal to me and sharing it here feels even a bit melancholic I but I hope you appreciate it. I also suggest you to listen to the album version of the song, one of the most beautiful tunes I've ever heard.

I'm just a prisoner of love

One of the best things and somewhat a phenomenon of summer 2013 was the Netflix series Orange is the New Black. Everyone seemed to have binge watched it in a couple of days (by everyone I mean myself, three friends, a punch of queers I follow on Tumblr, and some folks I don't actually hang out in real life or in virtual world like Tegan and Sara Quin and Sarah Paulson: I lead a very limited social life so I consider this a big enough crowd to prove the point). It is just something that happens because it is so good and you don't want to stop but then again you don't want it to end either. And with all your feels you end up in an emotional void because hello, what am I going to watch now and what am I going to do with my life in general and what's the meaning of my existence (I personally continued with the colour theme and watched Orphan Black in two days: it's a vicious circle and only gave answer to one of these questions). Well, you know what I am talking about because you probably had a rewarding marathon with it, too.

While watching, working as drug mule for international drug cartel started to sound a considerable career choice for more people that ever before thanks to one Alex Vause.

Not enough people on TV shows wear glasses. They should because that's just hot. I mean just look at this exhibit A.

Thanks to this certain Alex Vause indeed, Tumblr pretty much exploded and the dash was flooded with shippers and people whose lives were ruined hopefully in the best possible way. I want to take this moment to thank these gif making folks for I found endless comfort in the that form for my lonely and empty nights when I missed the happy two days I spent with the show and pondered if life in prison would actually be bad at all and I'd meet more ladies than in my current life (more clear minded state made me realise it's probably not worth it, though...). I should never watch anything: I get too emotionally involved. I fall for fictional characters and I fall hard. Especially in this particular case. Yes, Alex Vause, I'm talking about you.

You never know what upcoming series bring. You wish for the best and fear for the worst and this wait for Orange is the New Black series two has been one emotional roller coaster. It hasn't been just the anxious ”oh, I can't wait I think I have to watch the first series three times until it airs again” or ”oh, I hope the second series lives up to all the expectations because I would really appreciate new episodes in addition to these I know by heart”. No, it's been a constant thriller whether or not Laura Prepon playing Alex Vause will return to the second series and if for how many episodes. It started from maybe none, to one and then four and I then don't even know: I think at that point I curled up in a ball and concentrated on crying about it. But yesterday it was revealed that she's apparently returning for ”most of it”. I don't know what that means. I don't care. My baby's back and those tears running down my face are tears of joy. Looks like all those, mostly metaphorical, pies thrown for Alex Vause weren't in vain.

Oh just sue me, already

You've been dreaming about it...
You've been wishing for it...
You've been also secretly praying for it...

... and it's Cate Blanchett playing a lesbian lawyer on ABC's Drama Series called Rake. She's also meth addicted and alcoholic so I'm excepting it to be at least intriguing. Unfortunately her role lasts only for one episode. But otherwise, sounds rather delicious and only leaves me to wonder how she'll actually express her sapphic tendencies?