Heartbeats and Kim Gordon; how and when

I still remember the exact moment. It was night and it was dark and I was alone in the living room, watching a document about something including Kim Gordon. It was love at first sight. I remember how I was blushing and how my heart was racing... And then I realized her age, I realized I'm half her age as back then I was around sixteen, seventeen and she was almost fifty. I went through a short phase of confusion… yes, no… no but yes… I can't… how could I not, yes please, maybe no... and it obviously ended to the hymn of as many lovely yeses as I've been able to count in the rhythm of my heartbeats ever since.

Soon I realized it was truly my calling. And I can honestly say almost every woman I've ever fancied has been much older than me or if they haven't, they've had this "mature aura" which I find hard to describe better but I do know a few younger women like this (in real life also) and it's truly charming. But about older women, I just can't resist the charisma, the beauty, the presence, the intelligence, the maturity… And the most adorable and the most beautiful thing in a woman I can think of are those little wrinkles in their eye corners which are starting to appear when she reaches her mid thirties.

If only I knew where to meet women like this in real life! Specially if they'd be fascinated to get involved with a younger woman like me and not that interested of just brutally breaking my heart. I remember I was once corresponding for a short while with a film director, an older gorgeous woman, who had this same fixation but the other way around… She told me that if I ever go to Los Angeles she's willing to tell me places where older women are looking for younger ones. So if I ever meet a fairy godmother, I'll ask her (after trying to gracefully hit on her of course) to take me to LA.

But meanwhile I'm cherishing and enjoying my vivid imagination and all my so-called celebrity crushes and obsessing over their magical powers. There's so many, the ones that come to mind first are Cate Blanchett, Julianne Moore, Donna Tartt, Tori Amos, Charlotte Rampling, Monica Bellucci, Emmanuelle Seigner, Isabelle Huppert, Kate Bush, Susan Sarandon… I could go on and on and on. With most of these I also have such long-term crush relationships which I'm quite proud of as it's just lovely to keep on following how your favorite ladies develop as artists. So of these, and of all the other things imaginable connecting with this subject (believe me, there's truly an endless amount of them), I'll be writing here!

Faithfully yours,
Alisa